The Thankful List

 

A few weeks ago, I started reading "A Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. And I couldn't put it down. In her simple, beautiful, heart-cracked-open style, Ann writes about thankfulness to combat ingratitude and how she started a list of things she is thankful for, intending to list one thousand gifts. I began to realize how often I live in the valley of not enough and condemn God for all the things I seem to be missing, instead of thanking Him for all He has given me and is doing around me. As a intentional act to change the way I think and see, I started a list of my own. Not only has it been soul-refreshing, but it is a lot of fun. I carry my journal around and often will take it out and write down something that came to my mind that I am thankful for. Like right now: quiet moments by myself after everyone goes to bed. White steeples against blue skies. Acrylic paint. Windy days. 

The thing is, the more I list, the more I feel like I'm relieving myself of some obscure load and freeing up space in my heart. Who knew that blackberry jam and warm towels meant so much, could do so much to the mind and spirit? Sometimes it feels insulting. Could the key to thankfulness really be this simple? Is joy something that comes with a refusal to see the shadows? Or could it be that the shadows themselves hide beauty? That I should be thanking God not only for the blessings but the struggles? Maybe, just maybe, the rough edges and tears and difficult circumstances are a blessing if I see them as such. An opportunity to draw closer to God in dependence and faith. This has been the hardest gift of all for me to write down.  

Shades

Because life progresses in different colors and hues. Sometimes it is full of vibrant tone and energy, other times it feels like an earthy palette, like the sunshine on your skin as you wash the dishes by the windowsill. Days like these, it feels as though a week went by in black and white. Whispers and hushed tones and the thought that all these moments will one day be in a scrapbook like the one I found tucked away in a dusty attic.

Sunrise

Watching the sun rise from the top of the mountain. Air so cold that I could almost see the words off my lips like the breath of my lungs. Eternity in suspension for a single moment as a streak of amber grazed the dark sky. As day broke before my eyes and the night sky was rolled up like a canvas, I realized that sleeping half the day on Saturdays just isn't an option anymore.

Getting Lost

...In which my bus to the mountains never comes and I spend the afternoon wandering and getting lost.

apple pickin'

Anddd it's my first post since returning to school. That says a lot about what the past month has been like! I'm sure every college student will emphatically assert that their lives are busy, but I can say that I've been like a hamster on a treadmill since day one. Of course, I like it that way. If I had idle time I would idle it. However, classes have ramped up and I've had to work harder to keep on top of things. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself when you're stressed is to take a break and do something enjoyable. I went apple picking with these lovely ladies this morning. We took the 45 minute drive Sky Top Mountain, an extensive apple orchard best known for its fresh apple cider doughnuts. The orchard was beautiful - the view was fantastic, the atmosphere rustic and "pioneer-ish", and apparently everyone else thought so too. The line of vehicles up the mountain was jammed for miles.